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really was devine because it was moonlight and we talked quite
a lot about morals, and all the bands in the prater were all
playing in the distants  Mama love Papa . Because  Mama love
Papa has just reached Vienna and they all seem to be crazy
about  Mama love Papa even if it is not so new in America. So
then he took me home to the hotel.
So everything always works out for the best, because this
morning Mr. Spoffard called up and told me he wanted me to
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes  74
meet his mother. So I told him I would like to have luncheon
alone with his mother because we could have quite a little
tatatate if there was only two of us. So I told him to bring his
mother to our room for luncheon because I thought that Miss
Chapman could not walk into our room and spoil everything.
So he brought his mother down to our sitting room and I put
on quite a simple little organdy gown that I had ripped all of
the trimming off of, and I had a pair of black lace mitts that
Dorothy used to wear in the Follies and I had a pair of shoes
that did not have any heels on them. So when he introduced us
to each other I dropped her a courtesy because I always think it
is quite quaint when a girl drops quite a lot of courtesys. So
then he left us alone and we had quite a little talk and I told
her that I did not seem to like all of the flappers that we seem
to have nowadays, because I was brought up to be more old
fashioned. So then Mr. Spoffards mother told me that Miss
Chapman said that she had heard that I was not so old
fashioned. But I told her that I was so old fashioned that I was
always full of respect for all of my elders and I would not dare
to tell them everything they ought to do, like Miss Chapman
seems to tell her everything she ought to do, for instants.
So then I ordered luncheon and I thought some champagne
would make her feel quite good for luncheon so I asked her if
she liked champagne. So she really likes champagne very very
much but Miss Chapman thinks it is not so nice for a person to
drink liquor. But I told her that I was a Christian science, and
all of we Christian science seem to believe that there can not
really be any harm in anything, so how can there be any harm
in a small size bottle of champagne? So she never seemed to
look at it in that kind of a light before, because she said that
Miss Chapman believed in Christian science also, but what
Miss Chapman believed about things that were good for you to
drink seemed to apply more towards water. So then we had
luncheon and she began to feel very very good. So I thought
that we had better have another bottle of champagne because I
told her that I was such an ardent Christian science that I did
not even believe there could be any harm in two bottles of
champagne. So we had another bottle of champagne and she
became very intreeged about Christian science because she said
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes  75
that she really thought it was a better religion than
Prespyterians. So she said Miss Chapman used to try to get her
to use it on things, but Miss Chapman never seemed to have
such a large size grasp of the Christian science religion as I
seem to have.
So then I told her that I thought Miss Chapman was jealous
of her good looks. So then she said that that was true, because
Miss Chapman would always make her wear hats that were
made out of black horses hair because horses hair does not
weigh so much on a persons brain. So I told her I was going to
give her one of my hats that has got quite large size roses on it.
So then I got it out, but we could not get it on her head because
hats are quite small on account of hair being bobbed. So I
thought I would get the sissors and bob her head, but then I
thought I had done enough to her for one day.
So Henry s mother said that I was really the most sunshine
that she ever had in all her life and when Henry came back to
take his Mother up to her room, she did not want to go. But
after he got her away he called me up on the telephone and he
was quite excited and he said he wanted to ask me something
that was very very important. So I said I would see him
tonight.
But now I have got to see Mr. Eisman because I have an idea
about doing something that is really very very important that
has got to be done at once.
May 31st:
Well I and Dorothy and Mr. Eisman are on a train going to a
place called Buda Pest. So I did not see Henry again before I
left, but I left him a letter. Because I thought it would be a
quite good thing if what he wanted to ask me he would have to
write down, instead of asking me, and he could not write it to
me if I was in the same city that he is in. So I told him in my
letter that I had to leave in five minute s time because I found
out that Dorothy was just on the verge of getting very
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes  76
unreformed, and if I did not get her away, all I had done for her
would really go for nothing. So I told him to write down what
he had to say to me, and mail it to me at the Ritz hotel in Buda
Pest. Because I always seem to believe in the old addage, Say it
in writing.
So it was really very easy to get Mr. Eisman to leave Vienna,
because yesterday he went out to see the button factory but it
seems that all of the people at the button factory were not at
work but they were giving a birthday party to some saint. So it
seems that every time some saint has a birthday they all stop
work so they can give it a birthday party. So Mr. Eisman looked
at their calendar, and found out that some saint or other was
born practically every week in the year. So he has decided that [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]