[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

couldn t say anything against him.
 No more, I said, stepping back.  It s too much for
me to contemplate. I ll see you tomorrow. Now it was I
who ran away.
I heard him call,  Wait!
When I neared Bedford Street, I changed my course. I
wanted to be with Harry this night.
* * *
St. Vincent s was shrouded in darkness, as was the
street, but I could see flickering candlelight and bobbing
kerosene lanterns amid a lot of activity surrounding the
W8721-Free Love 12/12/00 3:25 PM Page 108
108
Annette Meyers
hospital. I stopped a uniformed officer to ask what had
happened.
 The electrical power went off, he said.  There ll be
no trolley service for a while. Stand back, Miss.
I stood back, then skirted the hospital and crossed the
street. A gaggle of nurses were talking to another officer
and a man in a business suit. Two workmen carrying a
stepladder squeezed by them. Well, there was no point in
my groping my way up to Harry s room in the dark. I d
wait awhile; if the lights were not back soon, I d go
home. I lit a cigarette and sat down on the curb under the
darkened bishop s-crook street lamp. I was tired and had
had too much to drink and too much excitement for one
night.
Words and phrases danced in my head. If only I had a
pencil and a scrap of paper . . . Aslight movement from
across the street, from a street-level window of the hos-
pital, caught my attention. Stealth, I thought, not moving.
Someone was climbing out as if he didn t want to be
seen. He walked to the corner, then light came blazing,
everywhere, and for a second, he stood in the frame of a
street lamp like a deer caught in an automobile s head-
lights, before he bolted.
I was on my feet, rushing toward the hospital. All I
could think was Harry. Was he all right?
For in that tiny moment I d recognized the man who
crept from the window, determined not to be seen, as my
old lover, Whit Sawyer.
W8721-Free Love 12/12/00 3:25 PM Page 109
Chapter Twenty
Well, there was no sense in wasting an ob-
servation. I used Whit s egress window and became part
of the general turmoil: patients crying, sisters rushing
back and forth, heads peering from doorways.
Not a soul questioned me as I walked up the stairs with
a sense of purpose. In fact, one particularly harried-looking
sister nodded at me as though I belonged.
When I opened the door to Harry s room, I had an un-
pleasant surprise. It was empty. No Harry. No sister. No
patient whatever. The bed was made up and waiting for a
new arrival.
Harry, I thought, oh, Harry. The shock induced tears,
and then I couldn t stop.
 Miss Brown, a soft voice murmured.
I turned, drying my eyes with my fingertips, only to
have more tears take their place. It was the sister who d
been with Harry yesterday.  Sister . . . Harry 
 We ve moved Mr. Melville down the hall to a private
room. Come along.
 I thought 
 I know.
W8721-Free Love 12/12/00 3:25 PM Page 110
110
Annette Meyers
 I came over to be with him when I heard about the
electricity. I ve become such an accomplished liar.
The lie just slipped right out before I could even think
about it.
* * *
To be honest with you, lover,
Yesterday I loved you well
But today I love another
And tomorrow, who can tell?
My credo is, as you must see,
Truly serious inconstancy.
I d been sitting in the chair next to Harry s bed for an
hour, working my poem over and over in my head while
Harry lay like the dead, his chest barely rising and falling.
When I d finished it, I spoke aloud.
I knew he heard me, though he hadn t moved since
Sister left me in the half-light, because he wiggled his
fingers. Taking his hand, I leaned close and blew at him.
He smelled of antiseptic and plaster. My breath was gin
and cigarettes.
He groaned and the swollen skin around his lips
twitched.
 I know there s nothing you d like better than a mar-
tini and a cigarette right now, I said.
His fingers danced in my hand. I lit a cigarette, then
put the mouth of my holder to his mouth and held it for
him while he took a tortured inhale.
 Ahhh, he muttered, then started coughing.
Alarmed, I reclaimed the cigarette quickly. Tears
flecked his eyes, and I could do nothing for him.
W8721-Free Love 12/12/00 3:25 PM Page 111
FREE LOVE 111
Finally, the agonized coughing stopped and he lay
quiet. I could see him trying to muster his strength.
I said,  Shall I tell you about the opening? I bent and [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]