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cheapskate brother! 'Oh, it'll fit you just fine, Asherat!' he says. 'No need to take it to the smithy for a
refitting,' he says. 'Just think how good it'll look in the chronicles if you kill David while wearing Dad's old
suit of armor,' he says. What a salt-head!"
She reached up and doffed the brass helmet, fake beard and all. Masses of curly blue-black hair
tumbled down her back. Eyes the color of the stormy Middle Sea flashed hatred at the mocking
Israelites. Drawing herself up to her full height which reallywassix cubits and a span, no matter what the
blabbermouth veteran claimed the false Goliath glowered at the phony David and declared: "My name
is Asherat of Gath. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
"Bull dung!" shouted one of King David's generals from the safe vantage of the city walls. "You're no
Philistine champion; you're agirl. The nerve of you, daring to challenge a man to single combat! Well, little
missy, we'll soon teach you your proper pla "
There was a resounding jangle and thud as the ill-fitting armor hit the ground, followed by the sound of a
second spear whipping through the air. It lodged itself halfway up the haft in the city battlements just
below the mouthy general.
"The next one won't be a warning," said Asherat.
The general peered down over the wall. Gauging where Asherat's spear would have struck him had
there been no intervening battlement, the still-vibrating shaft was just this side of obscene. His face turned
very red, but he waited until he scampered back into the city before bawling orders for his troops to
mass up and sally forth against that unnatural female.
Meanwhile, outside the walls, chaos ruled. Some folks dashed back into the city, more terrified now that
they knew the giant warrior was female. Others came streaming out, eager to have a good view of the
bloody business when the troops took on Asherat of Gath one-on-fourscore in a fine display of manly
courage.
Tirzah looked from the city to the lone woman against whom the full might of the garrison was even then
being marshaled. Asherat was out of spears, but had taken up her sword and was bravely awaiting a
battle she could never win.
"Son of abitch," said Tirzah, clenching her fists so hard that Old Wolfbane's thongs cut the skin. The
unfairness of it all got under her skin like ringworm. Something had to be done. She marched forward to
confront the giant.
Asherat hefted her sword, ready for combat, only to behold a wondrous thing. Instead of drawing a
blade or swinging that deadly sling, the person she and everyone else still believed to be David stopped a
few paces away from her, turned towards Jerusalem, and decreed: "By order of the king, let no man
raise any weapon against this woman, upon pain of death! She has my royal protection and is free to go
from this place unharmed!"
"Puny worm, I do not seek your charity!" the giant roared down at Tirzah. "Let them come! I will show
them how a daughter of the great Goliath dies!"
Tirzah rolled her eyes. She hated stubborn people. "O sweet maiden," she declared, enunciating and
projecting every word so that there could be no subsequent doubt among the remaining witnesses as to
what she was going to say. "It is not charity that moves me to such speech, but love. Your belly is a heap
of wheat, your neck a tower, your breasts are twin does that feed upon the lilies, and you have a very
nice personality. Though our peoples be enemies, I would we two were friends. Verygoodfriends if you
get my drift and I think you do, nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Behold, your bravery has changed my very
heart!" Whereat Tirzah sidled just a bit closer to Asherat and pulled the neck of her armor and undertunic
out just far enough to give the giant a good, long, indubitable view of what lay beneath.
"Yow!" the Philistine exclaimed. "Those are some big lilies!" While the spectators engaged in a brisk
round ofWHAT the Gehennah did she mean by THAT? comprehension crashed into Asherat's skull with
the impact of a pretty big rock. "Uh, what I mean to say is is Take me now, you Jewish prince!" She
flung her arms wide and fell to her knees before Tirzah. The cheers of the Israelites effectively drowned
out the whisper which followed: "I don't know who you really are, lady, but if you can get me out of this
mess with a whole skin, you're definitely my new best friend."
 In response, Tirzah threw herself dramatically into the giant's embrace, the better to murmur privily in her
ear, "Skin,shmin. With any luck, we'll both escape with a grubstake big enough to choke Leviathan!"
"I don't need grub; I need new armor," Asherat hissed back. "I was with the Egyptian army until one of
my so-called buddies, Hathi the Long-striding, got too chummy. When I gave him the brush-off he [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]